All the Things I Can't Control
by helpsmethroughtheday
Summary: This was not happening. I started to hyperventilate as I looked up at the stage to see him looking beyond amazing. I quickly calculated in my head that he was now 28, 3 years older than me. Back when I was 15 and he was 18, it seemed farfetched that he co


**_an. each title's a song, check it out if you want. (artist in brackets) _**

**Part 1. Don't listen to a word you've heard (justin nozuka)**

BPOV

"Bella, I had a great time tonight. I was wondering if we could do it again sometime."

"I'll see you later Tyler, it's late and Alice is probably waiting for me inside." I hinted.

"Oh... well nighty, night. Don't let the bed bugs bite..." he said awkwardly, inching closer and closer to my face that was currently sporting a look of discust—while he puckered his crinkly lips.

He had better not be trying to kiss me.

BRING BRING

Quickly backing myself further into our doorway to escape the disaster of a date, i whipped out my cell to see my brother Jayden calling.

"Sorry, Tyler, I really need to take this. I'll see you around, ok?" I said while basically throwing myself into my apartment, slamming the door in his shocked face before he could try to kiss me again.

"_Hey, Jay. What's up?"_

"_Oh, you know me, same old same old... Look the reason I called is because... well... you know those Christmas parties mom and dad host every year?"_

"_Yeah..."_

"_Well I overheard them talking yesterday and this year it's going to be a bit ...different."_

"_Just spit it out Jay. What exactly did you hear?"_

"_It's going to be... sort of like... themtryingtogetyouaboyfriend."_

"_A boyfriend?"_

"_Yeah, that's what I heard... They're worried about you."_

"_So, what? They're pimps now?"_

"_Ha! Guess so! I'm glad I have Avery...So, that's it. I just wanted to let you know... so you're ready."_

"_Thanks, Jayden. I'll try to snatch one up before then..."_

"_Good luck!"_

_BEEP BEEP_

"_Oh, I've got another call. Talk to you later little brother! Say hi to Ave for me!"_

"_Will do!"_

_CLICK_

"_Hello?"_

"_Hello, Isabella. It's mom."_

"_Hey, Mom."_

"_I was just checking in... And making sure you're still coming to our Christmas party?"_

"_Of course, mom. I wouldn't miss it for the world!"_

"_That's good to hear, sweetie. I can't wait to see you! Last time you were here was about a year ago!"_

"_I can't wait either, mom."_

"_So are you uh, planning on bringing someone? Just so I know how many places I need to set at the table. Jayden is of course bringing his lovely wife, Avery. I know last time I asked you said no, but I was just wondering if..."_

"_Just me, mom. Just me."_

"_Oh... Did I mention I invited the Newtons?"_

"_You didn't!"_

"_Bella! They've been our friends for years! It's common courtesy to invite them after all the years they've invited us for their Thanksgiving Dinner!"_

"_Is the whole family coming?"_

"_I think so... Last I heard Priscilla and Mike were off on their own. Priscilla at University and Mike off exploring the world... But Cathy mentioned the whole family being home for Christmas..."_

"_The whole family. Home for Christmas, with us?"_

"_That sounds about right, Bella!"_

"_Excellent..."_

"_I've got to get going! I've got places to go, and people to see!"_

"_Bye, Mom. I'll talk to you later."_

_CLICK_

**Part****2.**** Dreaming with a broken heart (john mayer)**

"Swan! Get your butt out of bed! Now! " This was not happening.

"Blaaaaah!" I shouted into my pillow.

"Don't give me that, Bella! Now!"

"Give me half an hour."

"Rise and shine, Bells! Today is a new day! Forget about the ass-crack of a date last night and get up!" She said, opening my curtains to reveal the awful mess that was my room to the world.

"I can't." I mumbled.

"Excuse me?"

"Please, Alice? Not today, ok? I need to sleep off the burning image of the shit's face before I can even think about moving."

"Do you want another Tyler to come a-knocking or are you going to get the hell up and clean this sess-pool you call your room? It smells like shit in here."

"Fine. I'm up, I'm up. Get out, I need a shower." I said, rolling on my back, looking up at the ceiling.

"The stench is you! Gross, Bella! Get in that shower already!"

"Out!" I said, shoving her out of my room and slamming the door in her face.

Alice Brandon had been my best friend for a while. We were pretty much inseparable these days and I was seriously considering inviting her to my parent's annual Christmas bash instead of going through the trouble of finding a suitable boyfriend. Last night had been one among many duds. This whole "lets date around and see what I can find" scheme wasn't working all that well. So far there'd been 4 of them. The first guy was one of Alice's co-workers, Jacob. He was pretty good looking, smart and fairly successful with the career path he was on. Alice worked for Strut magazine, she was just a reporter, but it'd taken her a hell of a lot of work to get where she is today. Jake was her photographer.

In my mind's eye, he sounded perfect for me. An artistic guy that made enough money, and loved music is exactly what I'd been looking for. Things were perfect, until he abruptly called things off.

Yeah, you could say I was a little devastated.

I saw him a week later with some skanky girl from this band I'd recently discovered at Sweet Innocence, just one of many hot spots for fresh talent around here, called Turning up Cherry. They were decent enough, but had a long way to climb before anything drastic could happen for them. Jake was with Savannah. She one of those girls who could be pretty, if she lost the mounds of black eyeliner and skanky clothes she seemed to love. I honestly didn't get their image—one of their issues they needed to work on. Savannah was the lead singer, and they band was performing the same night as a band Alice was interviewing. They met, sparks flew, and I was forgotten.

_Everything happens for a reason! _I reminded myself. This was my new mantra, seeing as everything in my life was turning out for the worst.

I stepped into the shower once the water was warm enough and couldn't help but glance in the mirror as I stepped in. I wasn't exactly what you'd call "hot stuff". I wasn't fat, but I definitely wasn't as small as Alice. I was just in the middle. Plain Jane, nothing extra special, with boring brown eyes, dark eye lashes and brows, dark brown hair, just your average next-door neighbour kind of girl..

Alice seemed to think differently, but she's slightly delusional. With her short charcoal hair and dark green eyes, she can get away with it.

_No wonder Jake ditched me as soon as he saw someone else._ I thought to myself.

"Bells! You just about done in there?" Alice screamed through the door.

"Just about!" I shouted back.

We shared a flat together, seeing as neither of us could really handle an apartment by ourselves. We didn't bring guys back here, unless it got beyond serious. Even then, we tried to avoid it at all times. No one wants to sit at the breakfast table the next morning with your best friends current sex buddy. Jake had been over a few times just to hang out, seeing as we were all friends at one point, but he hadn't even talked to either of us since he'd met _her_, the slutty man-whore.

"I'm going to do some laundry, you want me to just scoop everything off your floor and pop it in, or do you want to sort through and save some semi-clean scraps to wear today?"

"Just toss it all in! I'll deal with them later. Thanks!"

I turned off the water, getting out at some point was inevitable. After Jake there was Eric. He was sweet, kinda nerdy, and a bit socially inept. Alice never approved of him. I bumped into him at the studio, he was working on the sound boards, and he asked me out after about a week of brief communication surrounding some bands single we were working on. I figured I might as well, seeing as I had no other plans for that Friday night. We didn't click at all. It was a horrible date, and second date. Why I went on that second date, no one really knows. Alice was furious. Maybe I was hoping he'd be a bit more... conversational the second time around? I thought maybe he was just shy, that he'd open up a bit more on the second date. Turns out, I was wrong and the second was even worse than the first, ending in an awkward stare down at our door. I think he was expecting a kiss or something. He hasn't said a word to me at the studio since then, and talks to my assistant, Angela, any time he has a question or needs verification on something.

Ang is probably my next favourite person in the world after Alice and Rose. She's so quirky and fun; I couldn't have asked for a better assistant. She's more like a co-worker, though. I never talk down to her or order her around; we always discuss decisions I need to make on songs or lyrics or album covers. She has a certain look about her that looks so well put together and intelligent.

I opened the door in my towel clad self, to see my war zone of a room slightly neater. Maybe it was just the lack of clothing on my floor. I rummaged through my drawers which I hadn't opened for weeks to find something to wear. I pulled out a crumpled pair of jeans and a knitted sweater, clothes which I thought I'd lost.

I quickly brushed through my hair and rubbed some cream through it, hoping to prevent it from getting too frizzy or fly away.

Looking into my mirror, I decided it wasn't getting any better than this. I shrugged my shoulders and headed out of my room, making sure to close the door behind me. We were expecting company tonight and I didn't want anyone to have to see or _smell _my room. I honestly don't know why it smelt so bad. Maybe there was some left over Chinese food hiding somewhere; under my bed or in my desk.

_That's a battle I'll fight another day_, I thought as I walked into the kitchen to find Alice on the phone with our guests for tonight.

"You sure you can't make it tonight?" I heard her say. "You can come without him! It'll be a girl's night out! Oh ok… I see… Another night then… alright…. I hope he feels better soon! Bye, Rose. "

"Cancelled?" I asked as I walked in. Rosalie Hale is Alice's childhood friend. They grew up as neighbours, and went to school together all their lives, which is how we all became best friends. Alice and I were a little worried about her long time relationship with Royce. He seemed a little controlling and rude whenever he was around us.

"Royce is sick, which apparently means she can't come either for reasons unknown." She mumbled the last part under her breath.

"Ah, yes. The sacrifices of a hard core relationship. Aren't ya glad we're not in that situation?"

"Yeah..." she said, followed by a bit of an awkward silence.

"Let's go clubbing tonight!" She exclaimed abruptly.

"Uhh, sure?" I wasn't too fond of clubbing the last few times we went. The music there definitely wasn't my type and the guys are not quite what you'd call desirable, with their beer breath and dazed looks. They never knew what they were doing. Although, the ones like Sweet Innocence were another story. Potential artists pouring their hearts out to an audience that may or may not even care, though I knew it was all for me, the A&R of November Skies Studios.

"It'll be fun! There's this new one that opened up a few months ago and the reviews are beyond amazing! They have these surprise performances once a week and if we're in any luck, it'll be tonight!" Trust Alice to always know what places are the best to go to. This is what happens when you work for a kick ass magazine like Strut. "Maybe we'll meet some guys!"

"Since when do we meet suitable guys at a club?"

"Since now! Besides, you've probably worked with half the guest bands that occasionally play there anyways, so they'll be endlessly grateful to you!" She continued blabbing like this for a while. I tune her out at times like these, she never looks for any feedback from me, she's simply thinking out loud.

"Clothes!" she suddenly screeched.

"Wha?" I said dully.

"We need new clothes for tonight! If we're going to be picking up some guys, we'll need some kick ass outfits!"

"You've got to be kidding me. As if we don't have enough to choose from in the first place, do we honestly need more? I go out almost every week searching."

"Yes, but you need to dress for the occasion. Your funky, spunky skinny jeans aren't going to cut it for tonight. We need to get you a dress."

"I've got plenty of dresses!" I complained.

"Ah, but do you have The Dress?"

"The Dress?" I asked her sceptically.

"The Dress that's going to catch His eye?"

"You're ridiculous. I'm not going to meet anyone tonight. If anyone is, it'll be you, so let's go find you 'The Dress".

**Chapter 3. ****Crowd Surf off a Cliff (emily haines& the soft skeleton)**

We walked into the club later that night clad in our new dresses which were the result of me giving in to Alice, agreeing to go shopping. I absolutely loved mine, not that I'd ever admit it. We went to a little Betsy Johnson boutique downtown where we both found The Dress. Both of ours were black, but mine was slightly vintage looking and a looser, cottony feel to it, whereas Alice's was tight and form-fitting. She looked ridiculously gorgeous in it.

It was packed by the time we got there, which was apparently to be expected.

I had a feeling word about a band potentially playing tonight had spread, and people were lined up for blocks outside. We waited for a bit, but got ushered up from the bouncer, probably thanks to Alice.

We went straight to the dance floor, not even bothering to find a table. There was no way a table was even open. Crazy tunes rocked the whole place, and the people were clearly out of their minds hyper and drunk.

Alice inevitably found a pretty cute guy to dance with before we were even through the door, so I headed straight for the bar.

I glanced back to see them dancing pretty intimately; his hands were all over her.

I turned around when I heard the bar tender clear their throat. He was vaguely familiar. Then it hit me, Chad. He was #3 on the list. He used to work at Stormy Mondays, where I'd met him. Stormy Mondays was another one of those places that talent somehow found its way into.

"Well, well, well. Look who it is." We ended on a bad note. "Miss. Bella Swan, what can I get for you?"

"Bellini." I muttered, not really wanting to engage in a conversation with him. We weren't exactly on good terms.

"Staying on the safe side tonight, I see? Good, I wouldn't want to have to hold your hair back while you puke your guts out in the club's toilets, now would I? Oh, right. I already did that, and how do you repay me? You agree to go out on a date, only to ditch me half way through, wondering where the fuck my date went. Did I mention how much I truly appreciated that? Oh, especially when my ex walked in with her new fiancé. Yep, that night was definitely one night to remember! Thanks Bells, I really, truly appreciate it. Here's your fucking Bellini." He exclaimed, roughly sliding my drink at me down the bar table.

"Thanks." I muttered while getting up to move away from him. Yes, I admit, leaving him half way through our date was a bit rude, but he honestly would not stop talking about his ex. They'd been together since high school, and two weeks previous to our "date", she'd broken up with him, saying she didn't feel ready to commit. Next thing he knows, there's a wedding invitation in his mail box. She was marrying his best friend, Tom. Turns out she had the hots for Tom the whole time. Poor guy. But I'd had enough of his complaining through our movie and dinner. I'd had enough, and he wouldn't stop, so I left. I went up to go to the bathroom, and never came back.

A cheer erupted through the crowd while I was nervously trying to find my way back to Alice. Large cheering crowds were good, it meant they were excited. Running through the loud, _drunk_, cheering crowd while you try to pick out your best friend, made me nervous. Especially considering the shoes I was donning. I loved heels, but would love them more if I could walk in them without worrying about falling and breaking my neck.

I glanced up at the stage, only slightly, to see what all the commotion was about. Sure enough, there was a band setting up. _Lucky us_, I thought to myself, remembering Alice saying earlier this afternoon that if they were lucky, tonight would be performance night.

"Bella!" I heard someone shout. "Bella, over here!"

I turned my head cautiously to where my name was being called, only to see #4, Josh Parker. I waved back slightly to him; he was with his boyfriend, Drew. I sure knew how to pick 'em. We were still friends though, so I smiled warmly as I waved. At least we never had sex, I thought happily to myself. The kiss we shared was a little unnerving though.

"Bella, there you are." I heard Alice say. "Can you believe Rose is missing this? She's going to be so jealous... "

"Tell me about it, that is if she's still into this kind of "noise" as Royce so kindly puts it." Talking about Rose's fiancé was a difficult subject. I decided that it was time to change the subject. "Umm, what happened to Mr. too-close-too-soon?" I asked, raising my eyebrows suggestively at her.

"Ugh. He was such a slime ball. He had his hands half way up my dress by the time I managed to get away."

"Ah yes, the slime balls. Can't get enough of them." I said sarcastically.

"But, turns out I didn't have to escape." she said smugly while I looked at her questioningly. "I got rescued."

"Bella, I'd like you to meet Jasper Whitlock." She said while bringing a tall, dreamy guy into view. They were holding hands."Jas, this is my best friend, Bella Swan."

"Nice to meet you, Jasper." I said, politely. I had the strangest feeling they hadn't just met.

"You too, Bella. Uhm, Alice, sweetie, I think I have to go help out the guys set up. See you after the show?"

"Of course! Knock 'em dead, babe." she said, sickeningly sweetly.

I turned to look at my best friend with a glare on my face. She had a goofy, light headed one on hers.

"How long?"

"How long, what?" she replied, distracted.

"How long have you been dating?"

"Huh?!" she'd suddenly broke out of her daze.

"You heard me."

"We just met!" She answered nervously.

"Alice." I warned.

"I swear to god!"

I took a deep breath. "Sure..."

"I swear, Bells. I was dancing with the creeper and then out of nowhere he just appeared and tapped him on the shoulder, telling him to get lost."

"Right..."

At that moment the DJ stopped the music, and the band members all stepped on stage. My breath caught in my throat as I placed a name to the band and recognition spread throughout my face as I took in the faces of all 3 members. Of course I knew who they were. I fell in love with _him_ back when I was 15 years old, and closely watched him grow into what he is today. I used to tell my parents that I was going to marry him when I grew up. I was an obsessed teenager for years over this guy, the very guy that was standing up on stage now.

Edward Cullen.

_Holy shit. _

The 3 others I wasn't all too familiar with. Jasper, who I'd just been introduced to as Alice's new boyfriend, was the bass player.

The drummer, I wasn't so sure about. They looked vaguely familiar from my teenage stalking days, but I couldn't be sure.

Alice, of course, knew all about my crazy obsession with him because as I said, we'd been friends for a while, all the way back to high school and through university.

"ALLLLICE!" I screamed. No one else except for those close around heard me, and no one turned around, except for her. "ARE YOU SEEING THIS?!"

She just smiled at me, the same goofy grin. "Good thing you're wearing The Dress for tonight, because there up on that stage, is most definitely The Guy for you, Bells.

"You're more delusional than I thought..." I murmured.

"Oh please. I just met Jasper, and I can already tell he's Him. I can definitely see you and Mr. Cullen getting together. You find talent, produce stars, he's the best thing the music business has seen in a long time, and has shit loads of talent and is going to be the biggest star. Match made in heaven, Swan. Match made in heaven."

This was not happening. I started to hyperventilate as I looked up at the stage to see him looking beyond amazing. I quickly calculated in my head that he was now 28, 3 years older than me. Back when I was 15 and he was 18, it seemed farfetched that he could ever be interested in someone younger, even though I didn't even know him. But now... I thought... now it doesn't seem so bad. Royce, Rose's long time boyfriend was 27, and we all hung out together all the time.

_Edward Cullen... _

_I can't believe he's standing right in front of me. _

A slow drum beat started up, making the crowd go crazy. Then the bass came in with a gut wrenching tune. Edward started right into the audience and started shuffling his feet as he started to sing. I knew the song. It was one of the first ones he ever wrote, back when he was 17 in his makeshift studio in his basement at home.

They crowd went insanely wild with cheers and hollers.

Before I knew it, they show was over and Alice was dragging me backstage. I was far too dazed to fight against her.

_Edward Cullen..._

_**AsN:**_

**Any thoughts, questions or suggestions?**


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